So, this is what happened to me last weekend.
I poured a cup of coffee on my laptop. Like, right over the top of the keyboard. It's so cliche, but it was exactly like it was happening in slow-motion - I could see my clumsy arm gesticulating, the mug tipping, the wave of liquid like a tsunami over the keys. Then time caught up and I was sitting there gaping before a moment before Davis, sitting nearby, barked "
gogetthepapertowel".
I can see you all cringing through my screen. I can see you compassionately stroking your own computers, whispering "
I'd never do that to you, baby".
When I came back, my computer gasped and the screen went black. Davis immediately removed the battery and pulled out the RAM drives. We sponged up as much of the coffee as we could (Columbian medium roast with skim milk, no sugar) and tilted the computer up to let it drain. After half an hour, no more coffee was seeping out, but when we tried powering the computer up, all we heard were little pathetic whirring sounds.
Now what? we asked. It was 3:15 on a Sunday afternoon, so Davis got on the phone with the Apple store at the nearby mall and made an appointment for an hour later to get someone to look at my poor computer.
"It turned off by itself?" the Apple genius asked. "Oh. That's not good."
He did, however proclaim my hard drive undamaged, and plugged it into his own computer so I could transfer some documents onto a USB key I'd brought.
"I don't know," he said. "All I can tell you is to let it dry out for a week and try again, but I'm not optimistic. This model of laptop has been reduced by $200 though, if it doesn't work out."
"But how much liquid damage is there?" I asked. "Can you just open it up and tell me if you think it's salvageable, so I don't have to wait that long?"
"Sure," he said. "It'll be $147 to open the case."
Davis drove me and my broken laptop home. "I can't believe they just won't fix it," I complained. "What did I pay $250 for Apple Care for anyway? Only
their mistakes are covered?"
"Yes," Davis said. "Apple Care doesn't cover consumer stupidity."
"So what's the plan then?"
"We'll
open up the case," Davis decided, "and put the laptop in the dryer."
And that is what we did. On a shoe rack. On air cycle. For 8 hours.
Computer guts:

Creative use of jewelry mailing boxes:


Schematic of screws removed:


And the verdict?
THE MACBOOK LIVES!
I can't believe how lucky I was. Lucky that Davis is quick-acting in taking out the battery as soon as it happened and thought to put the computer in the dryer. Lucky that my logic board isn't fried, which would cost as much as a new computer to replace. Lucky that we both had the guts to pry open my computer, although it was worth the risk anyway.
I love you, MacBook. You were too young to go so soon. I am glad that you'll live to see another day to blog with me.